10. Store decorations start too early.

09. Football in the Northwest in General.

08. They Stole away the Sonics.

07. I should be talking about a Bronco Championship, but instead I am wondering why they are not fixing the defense.

06. Somehow I still think these are funny, but we all know better.

05. I can't get close to the girls I like either through their choice or a court order.

04. What I call "Checking Up on" is somehow termed "STalking" by everyone else.

03. (insert your own useless observation)

02. I am starting to get too tired to do 5 let alone 10.

01. I am just a bad person.

10. It's February and it's too cold.

9. Women are liars.

8. You can never get anything good enough.

7. If you're not with someone, you are considered gutterscum.

6. Chocolate is bad for you.

5. Flowers have killer pesticides.

4. Red is perceived as an evil color.

3. Women just love to crush men mentally and emotionally on this day.

2. Interferes with hockey and basketball season.

1. Other than some scum criminals getting shot, nothing good has ever happened on this day.

10. Wounds from Cupids arrow tend to get infected and cause gangrene.

9. Interrupts sweeps month on TV.

8. TV specials just don't seem to have the same gooey sappiness they use to for this day.

7. Can never find a card that says 'Oh, by the way, BITE ME!'

6. People are getting all excited even though pitchers and catchers don't report for Spring Training for two more weeks.

5. The original St. Valentine was secretly a womanizing drunkard.

4. It's February in Arizona and it's already 105 in the shade.

3. The more you see it, the more you realize that red is the color of Satan, Lord Of Evil.

2. This entire idea was dreamed up by the floral industry trying to dump product in a hard-to-grow month.

1. Every piece of chocolate is one step closer to death by sugar rush.

10. Red = Blood = what happens when women stab you in the back.

9. All the 'Hate Mail' cards are sold out for New Years.

8. Takes away from the pageantry that is Presidents' Day.

7. "Single on Valentine's Day" still not a legal defense for opening fire with an Uzi in a crowded bar.

6. Cupid, Messenger of Love? More like Messenger of Coronaries and Brain Aneurysms.

5. Tends to produce the goofiest half time and intermission shows possible.

4. No matter how much you plan and put into it, it will never be enough.

3. The jewelry, candy and floral industries are all partners in an evil pact to destroy men.

2. Valentine is ancient Latin word mixed with Greek that means "to hunt down, destroy and humiliate".

1. Because Love is like a bad magician, It looks cool at first but then you realize it's just an illusion that makes you feel stupid.

10. Every sitcom does a cheesy Valentines show.

9. Every drama show does a sappy Valentines show.

8. Every local news show does crappy Valentines ideas.

7. If you don't go broke buying a present, you're not doing it right.

6. Flowers, like relationships tend to wither and die in a few weeks.

5. On this day in the South, unattached people are fair game for hunting.

4. It's a well-known fact that card companies that created Valentines Day were founded by minions of Satan.

3. Valentines candy? Addictive as crack cocaine.

2. Candlelight dinners and romantic settings? Nothing but a prelude to public humiliation.

1. Money spent on presents and dinner could go towards better things, like playoff tickets.

10. My address does not end with Issaquah, Bellevue or Island.

9. Kemp won't play with the Sonics, so what's the point?

8. Husky Apple Cup disaster still lingering.

7. If you're not in some band or shooting smack, chicks ignore you.

6. If your first name is Bill, but the last name isn't Gates, you suck.

5. Mariner playoff disaster still lingering.

4. The constant rain contributes to depression and suicide, but I'm not that much of a self-starter.

3. My coffee intake is not enough to stay awake for three straight days.

2. Seahawk season disaster still lingering.

1. It's Seattle and its raining the entire time.

10. Bobby Ayala is still a Mariner.

9. Just extends the crappy holiday season ever longer for singles.

8. Courteney Cox is getting married.

7. Hallmark is an ancient translation for Satanic Minion.

6. No NBA All-Star Game (This might actually be a good thing)

5. The only man in history to do this day right: Al Capone.

4. Two Words: Restraining Order.

3. Because women like to rip out your heart and laugh at you while you die inside.

2. Because my occupation is not exciting enough to the opposite sex.

1. Two more words: Attitude Problem

10. Griffey wants out so why get excited?

9. Bronco season was a disaster.

8. Same as predicted Y2K catastrophes. Whole lotta hype for a whole lotta nothing.

7. Because Love is like shopping downtown during WTO. Starts simple enough but ends with a severe beating to the head.

6. Year ends in 0, just like my love life.

5. No responses to Thanksgiving invites.

4. NBA brought back the loser idea of the Slam Dunk contest.

3. We think this is a new millennium and century, but technically we're still sucking our load in the old one till 2001.

2. 'Go To Hell' cards just not available.

1. Three Words: Continuing Attitude Problem

10. A-Rod dumped on the Mariners.

9. Courteney Cox still married to that idiot.

8. Despite best efforts, this holiday still not banned for life. (Mostly due to Florida recounts)

7. Ain't got no job.

6. Couldn't get to NHL All-Star weekend.

5. That movie 'Valentine'? Had the right idea, kill'em all.

4. New century, New millennium, but same old outlook and results.

3. Just like 'Survivor', you get voted out of the relationship if you make the wrong move.

2. FTD still doesn't have 'Bite My Ass' bouquet.

1. You want a 'reality show'? How about 'Life Sucks, Then You Die!'

10. Still bitter about Mariner playoff loss.

9. Missed Christmas party.

8. F'ing housing costs.

7. Proliferation of no-talent ass clowns.

6. The Internet is not my friend.

5. Bronco season in the tank.

4. Because Love is happy bunnies, playing in the field, then the predators show up and rip them to shreds.

3. Lost the Playoff pool

2. SE Gone.

1. Past year just sucked in general.

10. I now live in Kent.

9. Too many funerals in past 18 months.

8. The massive Couging in the Apple Cup.

7. The fact the Broncos play for crap on National TV.

6. By buying a house, its just one more thing that girls hate about me.

5. Plane ticket nonsense.

4. My website blows and no one wants to play the pools.

3. Pac 10 gaspiping in the bowls.

2. Still bitter about haircut.

1. I stil have to do this list every year.

10. F'ing job moved to Hell (Arizona).

9. Actually attended and witnessed massive Couging in Apple Cup.

8. Way too much hype on LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony.

7. Courteney Cox now pregnant by No Talent Ass-clown.

6. BITS project ripped away.

5. Could not Successfully defend Big Soggy titles.

4. That Janet Jackson thing got way too much attention.

3. Go back and reread #10.

2. Thought I was Bitter and Angry. Found out that I still had more levels to go.

1. Still out here Lone Rangering it.

10. Girls at Hoooters still seem to ignore me.

9. This close to losing my house.

8. Fantasy season went into the tank - no, wait that actually went well.

7. Husky season utter fiasco.

6. Mariner season really total disaster.

5. F'ing job went away and never came back.

4. Car acting up really cost me.

3. Football picks (Pro and College) complete disaster.

2. Red Sox won World Series, so now they'll be cocky bastards for years.

1. Can't get arrested, let alone hired in this town.

10. Can't get my website to do exactly what I want.

9. First the Red Sox, now the White Sox. Two teams who haven't won in forever do and now they still whine.

8. Lost the Pro Picks title on last few games of season.

7. Seriously, gonna lose the house.

6. 'Logan's Run' Law not yet enacted.

5. Another year of apparently gaspiping job interviews.

4. 'The Game' made me realize what a complete loss I really am.

3. Bronco AFC Title disaster.

2. Bitches still be liars.

1. Frickin' rain is endless as all get out.

10. I became the 2006 St. Louis Cardinals of the pro picks this year.

9. Bronco stretch drive blows playoff chance.

8. Sweating bullets about my gig.

7. My trip to Vegas is in my closet disguised as A water heater.

6. We got the Weather We Deserve and then some.

5. Everyone treated the wind storm and snowfall as sign of the apocalypse.

4. Everything I touch somehow goes in the tank.

3. Just as I thought I got ahead, tax man bit me in the ass.

2. Dumping site due to accusations and complaints.

1. be, bitches, liars, still. There's the words, you do the math.

10. Chose to go to Vegas in the middle of the blazing heat.

09. Went to Apple Cup populated by ass clowns and JOs.

08. Still cant seem to get ahead of the game.

07. Could not successfully defend Picks title.

06. Another flippin' disastrous Bronco season.

05. LSU wins the Title? no wait, that's a good thing, I won some money.

04. Ohio State in the title game? Keeping a tradition of Runner-UP in Everything.

03. This list not that much about Valentines in the last few years.

02. I write this nonsense, but you don't see me on strike.

01. Still have empty area between chest and belt.

10. Store decorations start too early.

09. Football in the Northwest in General.

08. They Stole away the Sonics.

07. I should be talking about a Bronco Championship, but instead I am wondering why they are not fixing the defense.

06. Somehow I still think these are funny, but we all know better.

05. I can't get close to the girls I like either through their choice or a court order.

04. What I call "Checking Up on" is somehow termed "STalking" by everyone else.

03. (insert your own useless observation)

02. I am starting to get too tired to do 5 let alone 10.

01. I am just a bad person.